Help Fix Child Support Problems

doodlebugsmom 8 weeks ago

I'm not on the internet often. But today I felt the need to take a look and see what other mothers are experiencing in regards to child support. I have sadly discovered that the pendulum of fairness has swung unnervingly too far out of the realm of protecting mothers and children. I am no advocate of depleting a hardworking father into poverty. However, as we so often tend to do when we attempt to right a wrong, we have gone too far. And as this progresses we are seeing more and more examples in the news, and in our personal lives, of women who are left holding the short straw and must now scramble to find a way to properly provide for their children. For those women who made the selfless choice to forgo career, or often college, the outlook for the future is bleak. I recently watched a news report from Germany about the ever increasing number of mothers who were homemakers, holding up their end of the marital team by managing nearly all aspects of family and home as their husbands worked to improve their lives financially. Suddenly they hit midlife and the husbands decide they need something new. The women are given a set amount of support for a limited amount of time. After that they are on their own. The obvious problem here is that no one, male or female, has a decent chance of starting out halfway through life at an entry level position and getting anywhere close to the level of income, benefits and security that their counterpart has had years to achieve. The report delved into several individual cases to show the vast difference in lifestyle the men were able to enjoy vs the drastically diminished situations the mothers found themselves in. And worse, the ones who lost the most were the children regardless of the fact that none of it was their fault. I completely related to the topic and the women because I myself am now in their shoes. It doesn't exactly inspire younger women with small children to make the decision to be caregiver to their own, does it? So, it is no surprise that the number of mothers who are fortunate enough to consider doing so ultimately opt to hand their babies over and go to work. Knowing what I know now, I would have made the same sad choice. But you tell me. Does it seem just that my husbands income has been divided greatly in his favor, while I am the one who is caring full time for our kids? Does it seem just that after following along with my kids in tow while he built his career, moved us around the country, and had nothing to worry about other than his job, I am now the one scraping by on too little support supplemented by little more than the low wage jobs available to me? Pardon me if there is a bitter tinge in my words when I say my once pristine credit is destroyed while his is fine because he has more money to support one person, himself, than I have for three kids and myself. Not to mention our family pets whom I cannot simply cast away because the head of the house decided to take a binder. The point is that the scale of income division needs some serious recalibration. Unfortunately the problems don't end there. The offensively low amount that is garnished from my ex's paycheck must make it's way through the PA Support system in Harrisburg. It takes them nearly a week to finally get the money to me. And that's on a good week. All too often I have found myself having to wait an additional day or two or three. When living paycheck to paycheck this is no small matter. Bills to pay. Food to buy. Gas for the car, etc. But please don't bother to call Harrisburg (PA Support) You will only be wasting your time talking to very rude, unsympathetic and unhelpful people who will not tell you the truth anyway and will insist the delay is on the employer's payroll department end. Never mind that after my husbands 12 years of employment there I am more than familiar with the operations of his company and know without a doubt that they are not the issue. So, after all of this litany, reflecting how fed up I am with the whole system, I would love to see any other comments about similar experiences and absolutely any suggestions as to what can be done. Mom's are some of the hardest workers with the most important job of all. The reward of having kids is the ultimate I can think of. However, the compensation leaves much to be desired. There must be a way we can turn back the clocks, or at least the sentiment, to a time when being an at home mom wasn't the dumbest decision a woman could make if she wants to survive in this world.